Saturday, December 17, 2005

Up Jumps Da Button

Who knew I was such a freakish anomaly? I've recently discovered that, apparently, I am the only person I know who buttons her shirts from the bottom up, instead of from the top down. The vigorous indignation that this admission has aroused in the past three days when I have questioned a series of friends and loved ones about it seems even more heated than the ire provoked by other perennial favorite us-versus-them chestnuts like "pop or soda" and "toilet paper unrolling over the top or from underneath." I try to reason with these sartorial Stalins by likening my directional preference to the zipping up of a zipper, but that logic has been roundly met with dismissive snorts and/or eye rolls preceding the supposedly irrefutable proof, "it's called a button-down shirt, Allison." For the love of God, are there any other button-uppers out there? Should we start a support group? I just want to be loved for who I am! Dare to proudly come out of the closet* with me!

*You know you were waiting for me to say it


brendan said...

I always button up my shirts.

Anonymous said...

what if you're more "button-at-random?" i button a middle-ish button, say over the bust or tummy, and go up AND down from there. ??

Anonymous said...

^^^^ Ok, now THAT one's a fucking freak.

(B-down and Soda, Paper over the top like Sly Stallone, ya heard?)



allison said...

Over the Top?
Best. Reference. Ever.